Making Sense of Adversity
How we think about our failures influences our ability to bounce back.
Author: Kellie Cummings
Image: @rojekilian
Topic
Optimism / Resilience
The science
The way we think about adversity shapes our resilience.
Why it matters
When we consider the causes of failure to be unavoidable, we become less resilient and more prone to depression. However, when our thoughts about past misfortunes are constructive, we develop positive expectations about the future.
If you’re reading this blog, you’ve probably been around long enough to realize that adversity is part of life. But what you might not realize is that the way you interpret adversity can determine whether you develop an optimistic or a pessimistic view about the future. Martin Seligman explains all of this in his book: Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life.
If we interpret the causes of failure in a motivating manner that is rich with lessons learned, we develop an optimistic view of the future and are excited to try again. But, if we tell ourselves that our future efforts are doomed to fail, we develop a pessimistic outlook. It all depends on our explanatory style.
Your Explanatory Style
According to Seligman and the vast scientific research he cites, we interpret the causes of misfortune according to our concept of ourself, of the future, and of the world. Think about a specific event in your life that continues to bother you and consider the causes.
View of self: Do you blame yourself for what happened? If so, you’re probably personalizing everything that happened and carrying the full burden of responsibility. People who personalize failure and blame themselves develop low self-esteem.
Now question how realistic it is for one person to be entirely responsible for an event. How did other people contribute to your adverse situation and why didn’t they do something to prevent it? If you expand your view of what happened, you’ll likely notice additional—external—events that were out of your control, and your self-esteem will improve.
View of the future: Will that difficult event last forever or will it end at some point? If you believe that a difficult experience is permanent, you have little reason to hope for the future. A lot of young people struggled with a sense of permanence during Covid, because they lacked the personal experience of living through something difficult and didn’t realize that it would end. Being able to imagine a time after the difficult period is crucial for fostering hope.
Remembering that all of life is temporary will help you avoid this pessimistic thinking trap.
View of the world: Do you worry that the causes of your past misfortune will show up in your future endeavors? If so, you’re viewing this single event as a pervasive part of your life, which can make you feel powerless.
It’s more realistic, however, to realize that the misfortune you experienced was caused by very specific and local circumstances, which are very unlikely to repeat. Finding local and specific causes for adversity is essential for fostering optimism.
Optimism vs Pessimism
According to Martin Seligman, optimistic and pessimistic thinking patterns have consequences that influence how we approach life.
When optimists face defeat, they believe they can learn from the event and are unafraid of the next challenge. Pessimists, however, view failure as their fault, as lasting a long time, and as destined to undermine their future efforts. For these reasons, pessimists give up more easily and get depressed more often.
“Twenty-five years of study has convinced me that if we habitually believe, as does the pessimist, that misfortune is our fault, is enduring, and will undermine everything we do, more of it will befall us than if we believe otherwise.” (Learned Optimism page 7)
But there’s good news, because Seligman says his research shows that “pessimism is escapable.” Through cognitive techniques.
How to develop a constructive perspective
Now that you’ve examined these dimensions of a significant adverse event, and you’ve asked yourself the hard questions about your view of yourself, the world, and the future; where can you spot the origins of pessimistic thinking?
Next, you’ll want to pinpoint your negative interpretations of this event and develop a more constructive thought pattern. According to psychologists, cognitive distortion occurs when our thoughts about an event don’t reflect a balanced perspective.
Therefore, you’ll want to dispute these irrational thoughts with some rational evidence. Use the question prompts in the section above to get you started. For example, if you find that you’re personalizing the event, ask yourself how likely it is that only one person is responsible. Then ask why no one else stepped in to save the day. Keep examining all the mitigating factors of the event until you see that your role was only a small part.
Follow this same example for permanence and pervasiveness. You are on your way to developing a more optimistic explanatory style, which will help you shrug off those disappointments and approach the future with enthusiasm.